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 Benefit Liaison at Gaylord Hospital and retired banker, Jo Villecco of Cheshire was diagnosed with ”infiltrating ductile carcinoma with extensive duct carcinoma in situ” following an annual mammogram in October 2003. No stranger to breast cancer, Jo lost her mother to breast cancer and her sister, Rita, is a 10 year survivor!
Jo’s personal research reinforced her recommended treatment plan of her surgeon and oncologist…a lumpectomy, seven weeks of radiation and a continuing prescription of Arimidex.
Jo’s faith, fellow support group survivors, family and especially her husband, were her greatest source of comfort as she dealt with her greatest fear of metastasis. Jo’s Mom had died due to metastasis from her breast cancer site. Being allowed to talk and share her fears and concerns, was received with unconditional love and support.
There were times however when Jo wished she could have had more intimate conversations with some family and friends, but their difficulty dealing with her cancer precluded that. “Some of them found cancer difficult to talk about and would brush it off with ‘you’ll be fine’ or tell me about someone else who had a worse diagnosis instead of focusing on me and what I was telling them.” They didn’t want to discuss Jo’s fear of cancer spreading or her fear of dying. They just weren’t able to. It would have been nice to hear “I understand how you feel” or “It’s okay to feel like that”, she recalls. On the contrary, the medical caregivers were all wonderful according to Jo.
When asked what helps her move forward after going through this, Jo says that just looking at all the survivors, including her sister, Rita…a great role model, has helped her maintain her life’s positive attitude. Enjoying each day with her family, including her 10 grandchildren, and thanking God for her increased awareness of all her blessings also is credited.
People share their cancer stories differently. Some become very verbal and welcome discussion. Others more private in general may opt to not share. Some people appear to even be ashamed to say they have breast cancer, Jo guesses.
She herself would like people to know that breast cancer is no longer the death sentence it was 25 years ago. You can survive when detected and treated early. When someone is diagnosed with breast cancer, family and friends need to be a good listener. They can help by doing some research or finding some great books, but beware of information overload. Friends need to take the diagnosis seriously and know that it is very scary. Be sensitive and compassionate. Don’t turn someone’s diagnosis around and focus on how it affects you…focus on the patient!
The best advice given to Jo was to try and maintain as normal a life as possible. She would go to work after radiation and leave when she was tired. Going to work made her feel normal. Feeling normal was very important. A breast cancer survivor and friend gave Jo a book called “Just Get Me Through This” by Deborah A. Cohen and Robert M. Gelfand, M.D. which she read daily.
Jo Villecco was the third women in her family to have breast cancer which led to the decision for she and her sister to go through the Yale Cancer Genetic Counseling program. Having a daughter and granddaughters, she wanted to be sure that they did not carry the BRCA genes 1& 2. Rita was tested because her insurance covered the $3,000+ test. Jo was not covered by her insurance. The results of her sister’s testing revealed that Rita did not carry any detectable mutations in BRCA 1 or BRCA 2, and it appeared unlikely that they would be found in Jo’s DNA. Needless to say, she was very relieved and glad that they opted for the genetic counseling.
Submitted January 2006
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