Survivor Story
Wednesday, December 1st 2010
Cathy Esposito
Submited by Cathy Esposito
A Bond Never Broken
My Dad and I were very close. We had and still have a very strong bond. He was a kind, generous man who would do anything for anyone. What a sense of humor! We would laugh and joke all the time. I miss those times and how I miss him. Although he is no longer here, my story will reveal how he is still with me.
My Dad was not feeling well for quite awhile so I decided to take charge of his care. After many doctors, specialists, tests and hospital visits we were told on April 5, 2006 that he had primary liver cancer. Unfortunately there was no treatment available because the cancer had metastasized throughout his liver. It was one of the hardest obstacles my family and I had to face. We were able to keep him home and comfortable with the wonderful care of Hospice at Home. We were also able to give him the gift of love right until the very end.
In his final weeks he showed our family how brave and strong he was. And although he was in his last days, he still had his crazy sense of humor which always made us laugh.
My dad died on April 24, 2006 – less than three weeks after he was diagnosed – with his loving family by his side. A week before he died my Dad and I had a conversation where he thanked me for everything that I had done for him and he told me, “someday, I hope I can help you.”
I now understand those words.
When my Dad passed away he had four pieces of jewelry that he wore everyday. We all thought it would be nice if each one of us, the four siblings, was given a piece. I received his gold cross and knew it would be close to my heart. Little did I know that it would save my life.
In September 2006 I went for my physical and in October I went for my yearly mammogram. The results from the mammogram came back negative. In late October I was getting dressed and the cross somehow got stuck in my bra. When I went to pull it out I felt a lump in my right breast. My first thoughts were, “Dad, are you trying to tell me something?”
The next day I called the doctor and I was sent for an ultrasound. It showed a mass. I proceeded to have a biopsy and on November 17, 2006 it was confirmed that I had breast cancer. I thought, this can’t be me. It can’t be breast cancer. I had a mammogram and it came back negative. How is this possible?
Once I got over the shock, I told my family. It was very difficult for them because we just lost my Dad seven months ago. But I was determined to fight this battle and win.
I decided to have my left breast checked to make sure everything was alright. I then went for an ultrasound and it showed benign cysts. I had to make a difficult decision. Do I choose to have a mastectomy of my right breast or do I choose to have a bilateral mastectomy? Well that decision was much easier than I thought it would be. About a week after I found out that I had breast cancer, I woke up one morning and felt discomfort on my chest. I told my husband I had some pain and when I lifted up my shirt I had indentations of my Dad’s cross above both of my breasts. The decision was made that I would remove both breasts. I chose to have a bilateral mastectomy with no hesitation because I believe that my Dad gave me a sign, and I followed it with no regrets. I also chose not to have reconstruction. It is a very personal choice for every woman and for me I felt very comfortable with this decision.
Chemo, of course, has many side effects and one of them is the loss of your hair. Rather than go through the pain of watching it fall out a little at a time I decided to shave my head so that I could be in control of the cancer. We chose a day in honor of my Dad. On January 18, 2007 my loving and brave husband shaved my head. We cried but we also laughed. I was able to joke about it too. I didn’t care about being bald. It didn’t change me as a person. My main concern was to get the cancer out of my body. Hair grows back. Cancer kills.
My daughter and I have always discussed children losing their hair to cancer. We thought how could we honor my Dad on his first year anniversary. We measured my daughter’s hair for Locks of Love, which is an organization that provides hairpieces to financially disadvantaged children under age 18 suffering from medical hair loss from any diagnosis. You need a minimum of 10 inches to participate and that is exactly what my daughter had. So on April 24, 2007 – the one year anniversary of our Dad’s death – my daughter chose to donate her hair in memory of her “Poppy” and in honor of me. My younger brother who is a hairstylist cut her hair. It was a special day for all of us and tribute to all who suffer from cancer. I knew our Dad was smiling down from heaven and he would have been proud of all of us, especially my daughter.
As I end my story I would like to thank God, my family, friends and all the wonderful people in my life who have been there for me.
And thank you Dad for saving my life. You are my hero. I love you and miss you. Although you are gone, our bond will continue to live on forever.
